In the previous two posts, we considered an important text that speaks to the issue of interfaith marriage and identified the target audience of the passage. At first blush, the prohibition may sound like an outdated, archaic doctrine, not fit for today’s world. Are there any good reasons to discourage marriage between two people who love each other just because they don’t believe the same concerning Jesus? I believe so. Kathy Keller notes that an unequally yoked marriage can only result in one of three outcomes.
The Christian spouse will have to marginalize her faith in Jesus. “In order to be more in sync with your spouse, the Christian will have to push Christ to the margins of his or her life.” This does not mean that the believing spouse will reject the faith, but will have to minimize fellowship with Jesus in order to keep the peace at home. In short, the believer will become less transparent with her faith.
The unbelieving spouse will be marginalized. Keller explains, “The deep unity and oneness of a marriage cannot flourish when one partner cannot fully participate in the other person’s most important commitments.” An illustration of this may be found in the book of Esther where the queen struggles to share her religious commitments with her husband.
The final option is truce or separation. In a different article, Naomi Schaefer Riley suggests that the biggest gap in marital satisfaction was for evangelicals married to non-evangelicals. Riley notes that about 30 percent of evangelical Christians are married to someone of a different religion. Whereas nearly one-third all evangelicals’ marriages end in divorce, the number climbs to nearly half for marriages between evangelicals and non-evangelicals. Keller explains, “So either the marriage experiences stress and breaks up; or it experiences stress and stays together, achieving some kind of truce that involves one spouse or the other capitulating in some areas, but which leaves both parties feeling lonely and unhappy.” Keller may be overstating the idea that a “truce” always leave the parties lonely and unhappy, but it is fair to say this is the ideal situation that can bring the most joy.
What do you think? Is there a fourth option?